The Post I Can Finally Write

Hello, everyone,
I still have the feeling that it's not happening for real. Isn't it just a dream? I'm here, in Sofia, typing in my hotel room, and still find it difficult to believe that tomorrow Toni's brother and one of her twin cousins will pick me up at 7:00 a.m. in order to go to Lukovit--and that from then on Maximilian and Philip will be with us once and for all--and forever!!! For those of you who may not know it, Toni is Antonyia Vladimirova, our amazing Bulgarian attorney.

First of all I want to apologize to everyone because there will be no pictures until I get back home. Please don't laugh at me but without the twins or Catherine to help me I'm at a total loss. I'm having a hard time even using my i-Pad. At home I use my old, old-fashioned, almost obsolete regular PC.  I had to knock at the door of Mandy's room one floor down and get her help in order to be able to login into my Google account and be able to post this. Most of you know who I'm talking about. Mandy is another mom who is here with one of her kids picking up her newest son. Both she and I are mothers of eight now.

So, there will be pix--and lots of them. You know me, and the photos are my favorite way of bragging--one in which I can do it without openly using words.

I'll take the liberty of quoting one of you who once posted on a Yahoo group that when in the process of adopting "God had worked a fish and loaves miracle in their [our] bank account."  Yes, it does happen. I can give testimony to that. It had happened before and keeps on happening. For anyone who may be considering the possibility of adopting, or of adopting again, please don't hesitate: go ahead and take the plunge!!! God will help. He always does.  Between last week and this one I got two payments from clients that allowed me not only to take care of some necessary payments but also to buy, and even get a little carried away with, what I needed for the trip and the homecoming. And, to crown the blessing, I didn't have to spend much time on legal matters because, with the exception of a couple of phone calls and a couple of things sent by e-mail, all the work was handled by a friend in San Diego County who made it a life mission to help the under-represented and underserved in their struggles. My mind wouldn't have been focused enough to do more. Like in the movies, the second payment was collected by this lady on Thursday evening from multiple applicants for the same legal benefit who paid a small amount each, and I got a deposit into my account on Friday morning.

So, after finishing a few other things, the shopping spree started on Friday, the day before leaving, in the late afternoon. I left Walmart for the end because it's the one that closes the last. I can't wait to see sweaters and pants, winter coats and gloves move!!! No, I didn't go crazy with the excitement--or should I say not completely? Soon the winter clothes will be moving as they'll be on two adorable little boys who will make them move. I can't wait to see the smiles on their faces. I hope they will smile, won't they? I hope they will love me as much as they both loved me for sure when I was on my first trip for them last May.

We had a bed for Philip, but not for Maximilian. Well, I bought one in a rush on Friday. Catherine and the twins will put the frame together before the homecoming.

Needless to say, except for a very rushed nap at the beginning of the night, I made it almost around the clock. I'm used to doing that, anyway--but that's how I didn't even want to look at myself in the mirror. I'm not claiming to be young--but I looked even older than I really am. I was horrified--because I did look horrible! Now I don't know whether to attribute the miraculous change back to normal to the Bulgarian air--or to my sleep throughout almost the entire time of all three connecting flights: from Boston to Washington-Dulles, from Washington-Dulles to Vienna, and from Vienna to Sofia.

While getting ready for the trip I felt very strongly how very much I miss my Mom. She gave so much of herself for this to happen, for all my adoptions to happen--and she won't be physically on this earth at the time of Maximilian and Philip's homecoming. I composed myself and kept on working on getting ready . . . and got enthusiastic upon realization that some items I had bought looked even nicer at home than they did at the store. But then I happened to find at the bottom of a drawer a very nice card I had bought for my mom--and then had misplaced it and have never arrived to give to her--and never will. It read, "I'm proud to be your daughter." Well, I'm crying now--and don't want to get scared  again of how I look. I will stop here. The big news is for tomorrow!!! Thank you all, and God bless.