Saturday, November 16, 2013

Breaking the Silence--and Doing It with Pictures

Hello, everyone,
It's been ten months since Maximilian and Philip came home from Bulgaria. Time goes by fast--and yet it seems they've been in our family forever. The issue is that in ten full months I couldn't find the necessary time to update my blog. It's not that I don't care. Not at all. In honor to truth, I do care more than I should. Before blogging and posting pictures online became so common, I used to wait all year long for the possibility of showing off my family in my personalized Christmas cards and of highlighting the year's events in my detailed Christmas letters. The only reason why I'd like to have an office in some large organization or government department would be in order to be able to cover all four walls with pictures of my family for everyone to see. There was not one single day when I didn't have the good intention to get things done and update my blog. I kept on taking pictures and pictures--tons of them. Yet, every day went by with no update being made.

Most of all, I must deeply apologize to all those of you who helped in so many different ways to make Maximilian and Philip's homecoming come true. It was my intention to start sending out thank-you cards very shortly after my pick-up trip. It was my intention to keep my blog updated so that everyone could follow the transitional process. 

But I didn't do it--and, once again, I do regret it. Philip had more emotional and behavioral issues than anticipated. Totally the opposite to how things used to be then, my nonsensical childhood dream of having financial difficulties so as to prove myself had become painfully true--and I can assure all of you that there is nothing adventurous, glamorous, or meritorious in having more bills than funds. No, I cannot assume that all or even a few of you could be so crazy as to think there was. Yet, that is what I used to think when I was a child and used to have too much of everything--starting with too much love.

In March unexpectedly Nicholas had three seizures and was hospitalized for two days. All kinds of tests were run on him, and thanks God there was no sign of any infarct or tumor, and the seizures turned not to be epileptic but merely spastic.

Then towards the end of March I made a silly, nonsensical, ludicrous mistake. It was the kind of mistake that people normally don't make. Most flagrantly, it was the kind of mistake that lawyers never make. But I did. I showed the wrong paper to the wrong person and brought a lot of distress upon myself. I was really concerned. I was really scared. I was actually terrified because of the potential consequences--because of what could have happened, which thanks God never did. Morally I had done nothing wrong. Yet, from a merely legal perspective, I could have caused myself and my whole family a very serious headache--or even more than that.

It was a time of undeserved yet unavoidable grief. I have always desperately craved some merit of my own--and during those days I did have the merit of putting my concern aside, keeping on going, and trying to solve the problem. Finally I did solve it--but then I had another problem coming up. From the very first day I had rented our former residence in Cranston, RI, I was fully aware that the home was on the market and could sell at any time. It was a beautiful house on a ten-acre property in the middle of the woods and yet close to everything at the same time. And it was the last home in which my Mom was physically with us.

There is not one single day, one single hour, and not even one single minute that I can stop thinking about her, missing her with all my heart, and feeling guilty for having reproached her so many times that she gave me too much and took too much care of me. Thanks to the sacrifice of her own health today I'm not a mother of three but a mother of eight. Yet, she was not physically here the day when Maximilian and Philip arrived home. She is up there, though, helping us from Above as she vowed she'd do forever. No, I'm not crazy. When anything worries me, I ask her for her intercession before God--and the same as she did all my life, she keeps on helping me every single time.

There is not a total continuity in the photos below. I will fill in the gaps at a later time. I'm still missing the homecoming pictures and those of the pretend Christmas celebration we had in January for Maximilian and Philip to have the experience of sharing the magic of a family celebration. It was on that day when Motor, our cat, officially joined our family. He was my present to all of my children--and yet when he saw so many hands desperately trying to grab him he'd run away in terror to hide in the darkest corner he could find. Now Motor loves to be with all of us at all times and to snuggle in our beds. 

Please don't ask me why these pictures start towards the end of Thomas' birthday at the beginning of February. At some point I'll post the missing ones . . . and hope it won't take me another ten-month period to do so.

Thomas is looking at his new Omnitrix, one of Catherine's presents to him.

Thomas with Warren

Catherine in the snow in our front yard (in our former home)

Run, Nicholas!!! Catherine intends to throw some snow at you!!!

Catherine with Philip

Philip and Nicholas are shoveling the snow.

Mom (me) with Maximilian

Mom with Stephen

Catherine with Maximilian. No words needed.

Stephen ready to shovel some snow

Look at Maximilian's smile!!!

Ready to throw a snowball


Catherine is keeping Maximilian warm after snow. Look who is to the right!

Thomas seems to have a very soft and cozy pillow.

He's kissing Motor now.

Maximilian with Motor

Look again at that smile!!!

Thomas, Maximilian, and Nicholas

Catherine blowing bubbles for Maximilian and Philip

Philip is astonishingly good with puzzles.

That day I was able to keep things peaceful for a while even though I was by myself with all five of them.

Maximilian and Thomas

Thomas and Nicholas

Philip's eighth birthday--his first birthday at home

Catherine bought him lots and lots of presents.

Philip is having a ride on Warren

Philip with Motor

Maximilian kissing Motor

Catherine trying to get Philip enthusiastic about wearing a helmet. Philip tends to do things in which he can get hurt. Besides before when upset he'd bang his head on purpose. She is wearing her own martial arts helmet in the expectation that Catherine might want to wear one of the helmet that used to belong to the twins. Philip adores his sister with all his heart--yet never allowed his love trick him into wearing a helmet.

One day when I was feeling really down, Catherine decided to cheer me up with a card with the most awesome writing and a thank-you balloon. 

The card she wrote for me, which they all signed (the best they could) was amazing--more than I could have dreamed of.

Maximilian holding the thank-you ballon that Catherine gave me together with the card.


Stephen with Motor

At a bowling alley

Catherine with Nicholas

Look at this!!! 

Catherine carrying Philip and Warren carrying Nicholas (in our front yard at the time).

Warren getting Motor out of his carrier

Warren (left) and Stephen (right) trying to get Motor out

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