Monday, January 7, 2013

My first day with Maximilian and Philip--written after my second day

Hello, everyone,
I must apologize for the empty post that I published yesterday night. Definitely I seemed to have been jinxed all the night. While at the computer I was trying to be really quiet in order to avoid waking up Philip. It had looked like he'd never fall asleep--until he finally did. The very good thing is that even though he was giving me some trouble, he would not go to bed without kissing me good night.

I was on my second or third paragraph of my intended post when I fell asleep--only to wake up at about 12"44 a.m. with the impact of my face hitting against the edge of the small cabinet that hides the even smaller refrigerator that contains the mini-bar items. Such cabinet is at the side of the desk, and compared to it, is shorter but more protruding. So, as I was falling lifelessly to the floor as I was sound asleep, the side of my mouth hit the edge of the cabinet. I'm certainly not a teenager, and I since I don't wear make-up I don't seem to take too much care of my appearance, but the truth is that I  care much more than I should.>
Well, in addition to the half-empty tube of collagen cream I had brought with me, in the morning I ended up buying two other facial creams and an ointment to see which one would work better as a cover-up--and for the first time in many years would buy also a lipstick. Actually, I have not been wearing cosmetics since the family expanded and the finances shrank.  But, given that I have really thin lips, with some lipstick I could easily disguise the swelling on one side--and the creams would cover the darker area around.

Actually, I did deserve that little incident because of all the times when I used to complain because my Mom, instead of sleeping, would keep calling me on her cell phone to make sure I had not fallen asleep and had not smashed my head on the floor. Even amidst her shortness of breath, her pain, and her thirst, she would still call me one week before leaving this earth. And--I don't even dare type this because some of you may think that I "lost it" completely . . . but I will type it all the same. Yesterday night it was more than a bump. The impact against the edge of the cabinet had cause an actual cut--yes, a bleeding cut. I felt miserable thinking that at the time when finally I'd be able to show off my two new sons I'd need to hide my face. As I've been doing all my life, I asked my Mom for help. I was also concerned about a permanent scar. In the course of the day, as the swelling went down, the cut closed completely, leaving almost no visible signs.  It's no more than a little hematoma that can be covered with the cream.

Despite the bump, yesterday night I kept on writing my post, and arrived ti write a long one. Then I encountered a little technical problem, and as I tried to solve it, obviously I must have pressed the wrong option because the whole post vanished into thin air.

Maximilian and Philip were very happy to see me. Philip would run up to me and hug me. The same as before, Maximilian does not just hug with his arms and kiss with his lips. He also hugs and kisses with that deeply loving look that he puts in all his expressions of affection. It's really a look that goes from heart to heart.

He thanked me for the wheelchair that at the request of the orphanage director I had brought for him--even though it was not even a new one. It is actually a rather old one, and will be replaced relatively soon by a much better, brand new, and fully covered one. He would thank me for everything I gave him and for every very small thing I would do for him. He would call me "Momma," and seemed to love the sound of it--the same as I loved hearing him say it. At one point in the afternoon when at the hotel already, he would say something about 'momma' and about 'thank you.' I don't think he said it in full words, and there is a language barrier anyway. Yet, the meaning was clear. It was obvious that he was thanking me for something much deeper than the little thing I had just done for him. I don't even remember what it was--because there was absolutely unusual or extraordinary about it at all. So, even though he would not understand me, I replied with something that summarized the way in which all of us have been feeling from the very beginning, something that has made us find it difficult to emphasize how very much they needed us--because we also knew how very much we needed them. They did need to be home--but on the other hand we also did need them home. So, my reply to his thankfulness was, "Thank you for being my son." Philip is a very cute, cuddly little boy who happens to be a very curious, adventurous, fearless explorer as well. He climbs on everything, jumps up on everything, rides everything, tries everything, operates everything, opens up everything, closes down everything, plugs in everything, unplugs everything, picks up everything, moves everything around--and also makes every effort to put everything back in place. When determined to do something, he very much dislikes to be told not to do it. Yet, he's just playful, willing to do pranks. He's not aggressive or oppositional at all. I must confess I wished I could tie him up--if that didn't constitute child abuse. He's very cute, though, and very affectionate. And he is really smart too. I have a lot more to write, but will end this post here because I don't want the same thing to happen tonight--neither one of them. I don't want to get another bump or to lose another post. It's 12"54 a.m. now, and as soon as I publish this post I'm calling the reception desk to order a diet coke. In any event I took my precautions. Next to me there is a small fluffy stuffed monkey that I brought for Maximilian so as to replace the much bigger and fluffier one I had brought for him two years ago when I picked up Stephen in December 2010. As you may have already imnagined, that little monkey is cushioning the edge of the cabinet--just in case I fall asleep and fall down again.

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