Tuesday, January 8, 2013

A Brief Reflection About the Need for International Adoptions

Hello, everyone, After whispoering my request for a diet coke and waiting at the door for it so as to make sure I ddin't wake up anyone, I feel energized enough to include this post before going onto my second day with Maximilian and Philip. First of all, it looks like except for Putin, everyione in Eastern Europe deplores, decries, and denounces the ban on Russian adoptions from U.S. Before take-off of my flight from Washington-Dulles to Vienna from where I'd connect to Sofia, my fellow passanger happened to be wiping her tears as she was talking on her childfren--the same as I was trying not to cry while talking with mine. Her reason for her trip to Europe was not a happy one, though, because it was related to the health status of a close family member--although, let's pray, with good chances for full recovery. Although with no links to Russia and not personally affected by the issues around rhe Russian adoptions, she was really upset at the ban. She told me she was origianlly Romanian of Hungarian descent, and that having growjn-up in a Communist regime she couldn't tolerate that things like that kept on happening and that children kept on suffering. She also told me something that I was not aware of" that Putin had had connections to the KGB. Independently of that, looking at Maximilian and Philip, there is another argument I'd like to add. There is no doubt that, the same as Stephen, they were in an excellent orphanage, where they were cared for, given appropriate medical attention, and spared any questionable type of punishment. It is only too obvious that none of them is scared of any adult doing anything wrong to them because it had not happened before. Ywt, the same as Stephen used to be, Maximilian and Philip are really small for their ages. What does that mean? It means that even very good intentions, financial constraints prevent them from providing the children with all the nutrients they need for proper physical development. They seem to know the children. They celebrate the kids' birthdays. From time to time they take some of the children to the beach, to ride horses, or to some other field trip, including some instances of overnight stay. The place is clean. Nevertheless, it looks like finances stand in the middle of proper nutrition. Besides, what about the children's spiritual and emotional needs? On my first trip the director had told me that, except for celebrating the religious holidays, they cannot give any faith formation to the children because they don't have funding for that. From an emotional perspective, neither Maximilian nor Philip used to wear diapers or pull-ups at the orphanage. I had taken some pull-ups with me, though, thinking only about the flights back home. I'm paranoid about public bathroooms, and simply cannot bear the idea of my sons coming in physical contact with a public toilet bowl. The protections that can be placed on the seat are not enough for me. In my opinion, if due to height or to any physical challenges or behavioral issues it cannot be done without any contact at all, it cannot be done at all. That was the only reason why I had taken a few pull-ups with me. Well, both of them wanted the pull-ups as children typically want candy. Why? Because they wanted mom to do what had never been done for them by a mother before. They wanted that experience. And---that's not something that children simply want. It's something that children need. Then the questiin is obvious: why to deprive innocent children in Russia of something that otherwise they can have? Besides, it is a universal legal principle that no law can be applied retroactively in order to deny or diminish any beenfit already granted or in process of being granted. What about the adoptions in prograss? what about those families? What about those children? As my fellow passenger on my flight across the Atlantic said, "Little ones who were already abandoned once will believe they are being abandoned again." Catherine had expressed that concern before as she had invited all of us to pray together for those familieas and those kids. And--I don't think anyone needs to be a psychologist (or almost one) to figure out that.

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